Dear Abby: Guilt keeps wife in wedding to man battling with PTSD

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DEAR ABBY: i’ve been hitched to my better half for 17 years. After a long period, we discovered he previously some despair dilemmas. 10 years ago, he stopped working and has been at home ever since after he was diagnosed with PTSD.

We work regular, settle the bills, look after the young kids, run the errands, drop the children off at training, clean the home, every thing! He does absolutely nothing but sleep. He remains during sex for several days at a time and showers once weekly. We now haven’t slept into the exact same space in 5 years.

I’m so lonely. We hate being hitched to him, and I’m perhaps not sure exactly exactly how their depression impacts my young ones. He takes medication but will not view a therapist. I would like to keep and now have a life. Personally I think stuck in this marriage away from guilt. just What do I do? — HAD IT IN KENTUCKY

DEAR HAD IT: Make a scheduled appointment on your own with an authorized mental medical expert to talk about your position along with your shame. Please do that you are under before you have a mental or physical breakdown from the stress.

While I sympathize with your husband’s mental issues, the reality that he will not do all he is able to to repair them informs me it is the right time to care for yourself — for your children’s sake — as you are typical they will have. Since your husband’s meds are no longer working, he need mentioned that fact years back towards the physician that has been prescribing them.

DEAR ABBY: For the friend’s birthday, we delivered a $150 food distribution gift card, saying to place it toward dishes once I visited for 3 days the following week. He called, said I had been “cheap” and said it absolutely was maybe maybe not a “gift” if it included cash that might be used on myself.

Our company is new buddies while having never ever exchanged gift ideas. Please help me to realize if I became improper. — MEANT PERFECTLY IN UTAH

DEAR MEANT WELL: You made a truthful blunder. Nonetheless, that which you did was less improper than the new friend’s ungracious reaction, that has been simply simple insulting. From the next gift-giving occasion — if you should be nevertheless friends — send him a guide on etiquette, only for him.

DEAR ABBY: I am preparing a vacation to see my pal in England. We learned abroad 2 yrs ago, and I’m excited to return to my old stomping grounds and reminisce.

We got very near to this buddy we talk on Facebook every so often while I was there, and. Demonstrably, due to the distance, we aren’t close friends, but we nevertheless give consideration to ourselves “trans-Atlantic sisters.”

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I’m on a fairly budget that is tight would you like to start preparing for costs. Wouldn’t it be rude to ask her if I am able to stick with her? Or can I simply request suggestions about places to remain to check out if she provides? — TOURIST IN TEXAS

DEAR TRAVELER: although it wouldn’t be rude to inquire of, we vote for the latter option to check out if she recommends it. (She may very well.)

Abigail Van Buren

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